I Need You As Much As You Need Me
by TrueLoveWillConquer
Summary: A JT/Colleen fanfic. Set after Aug 21 episode
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

_It's probably not a good idea right now … you and me spending time together. _

JT's last words were still stinging Colleen's heart. She knew she had to get away to think for a while and she knew the perfect place to do so would be the Abbott cabin.

In a way she could understand where JT was coming from. She had always relied on him too much, but he was the one that told her he would always be there. With her father gone and Lily's illness she really had nobody else to turn to. And now because she made a move towards him, they couldn't even be friends. Their friendship wouldn't even be a problem if Victoria weren't so insecure. JT had rejected Colleen's advances and Victoria knew that, but still she couldn't let it go.

The conversation replayed in her head. _You know how I feel about you_.

The more she thought about it the angrier she became. She sighed. "Why is he always saying that to me? How am I always supposed to _know_ if he doesn't tell me?"

Colleen had been so hopeful when JT began kissing her back. They were so close to making love. She knew the feelings were still there, and he had proved it by kissing her.

What she couldn't understand was why JT allowed the Newman's to treat him like garbage. The thought of Victor hiring a PI to creep through the window of her house to snap pictures of her and JT kissing was enough to send a feeling of disgust through her whole body.

This time away from everything would do Colleen some good. She quickly packed a bag and was on her way out, but there was somewhere she had to go first.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Colleen couldn't be happier that Lily had moved back in with Cane. She knew that Lily loved him with all her heart, and despite everything she knew that Cane really loved her too. Lily needed all the love and support she could get right now, and Colleen knew better than anyone that there is nothing worse than being without the one you truly love.

She still couldn't believe that her best friend had been diagnosed with cancer. The whole thing was very surreal for her. She hoped Lily would understand that she couldn't be with her right now because she really needed to get away.

She knocked on the door and Cane answered. "Colleen, hey."

"Hey Cane. Is Lily up for a visitor?" She didn't want to intrude.

Cane opened the door all the way allowing Colleen to enter. "Sure come on in."

Lily walked into the room and Colleen was surprised to see her hairless head wrapped up in a scarf.

"Hey Lily. How are you feeling?" asked Colleen.

"Hey Colleen, I'm doing well. It's nice of you to stop by." Lily noticed the shock radiating from her friends face. "I know my hair is gone. I decided to shave my head. I didn't want the chemo to take my hair from me."

"Lily you look beautiful." Colleen responded, while awkwardly shifting her weight from side to side. "I guess this just makes it all the more real for me, and it makes what I came to tell you feel 100 times worse."

Colleen reached forward and hugged her best friend. Lily was slightly taken aback by the depth of Colleen's emotion.

"Coll what is it? What do you need to tell me? Did something happen?" She held onto Colleen's shoulders while staring into her bright, tear stained eyes.

"I'll give you two some privacy." Cane called out from a distance as he exited the room.

Colleen avoided Lily's watchful eye and turned her head to face away from her while sobbing uncontrollably.

"Lily everything is a mess. I got a flat tire a couple days ago while I was at Jimmy's and JT was there so he offered to drive me home. When we got there I asked him to wait until I turned the lights on. Anyway, he ended up coming in and he said that every time he comes to my dad's house he can't help but think about the past. About us." Colleen stopped to catch her breath.

"Okay, and then what happened? What has made you so upset?" Lily inquired.

Colleen continued. "Well then I opened my big mouth and I told him that I have always seen us as more than just friends. Even now. And he agreed that the spark never really goes away. Then I kissed him, and he kissed me back." She sighed. "Oh Lily we were so close to making love but he stopped because he couldn't cheat on Victoria because he loves her, and his vows mean something to him."

"Coll.."Lily began but she was quickly cut off. "Lily I know what you're going to say. I'm a horrible person for kissing a married man and expecting something to come from it, but I couldn't help it. I love JT. I always have." Colleen moved away from Lily, lifting her hands to her face, hoping to hide the shame she was feeling.

Lily moved over to the sofa, motioning for Colleen to join her. "Actually Coll what I was going to say is that if there is anything I have learned in the last little while it is that life is too short and you never know what will be thrown your way. You should always go after what you want. I'm proud of you for finally figuring out that JT is the one you love, but do you think it's too late for you guys? It seems like he is still in love with you too."

Colleen sighed loudly. "I haven't even told you the best part yet. Victoria found out. Apparently Victor hired someone to follow JT to lead him to that Mary Jane Benson person, and his PI took pictures of us kissing."

Lily gasped. "I'm so sorry Colleen. That's awful, and to think that Victor hired someone to follow JT, that's disgusting. How ruthless can that man get?"

Collen began to cry again. "It's over for me and JT Lily. This time for good. He's committed to Victoria, and I will never understand why. He told me that it's not a good idea for us to spend time together right now. We can't even be friends. Oh Lily, what am I going to do without him?"

Lily pulled Colleen into her arms and allowed her to weep on her shoulder. Colleen looked up and confessed, "I need to get away. I'm going to the Abbott cabin for a few days. I need to clear my head." She stood up. "I'm so sorry for making you listen to me. You have bigger problems. I haven't been a very good friends lately, but I promise when I get back I'm going to go with you to your next chemo therapy session."

Lily grinned. "Don't worry about it Coll, you gave me a chance to get my mind off things. I'm always here for you when you need me. I think the time away will be good for you, and sure you can come with me if it makes you feel better, but you really don't have to if you don't want to."

Colleen returned the smile, and returned to her seat on the sofa next to Lily. "Don't be silly of course I want to come. I'll be back on Thursday, my mom and Steve are coming to deal with my Aunt Ashley then so I'll be back for sure. Call me with the info for your session. I promise you I'll be there. I really want to be there with you, but I better go now if I want to get to the cabin before dark."

Both girls stood up. "Thanks Colleen it means a lot to me." Lily said.

"No problem at all. That's what friends are for. Don't forget to let me know the info."

"I won't." Lily replied.

Colleen gave her friend a final hug before walking towards the door. "and Lily, I love you. Take care of yourself."

"I love you too, Colleen. I will."

Colleen walked out the door and smiled. "Bye"

After Colleen had left a curious Cane reentered the room. "What was the about?" He questioned. "Is Colleen alright?"

Lily sighed. "She's heartbroken, but I think everything is going to work out for her."


End file.
